Glimmer of hope

So I haven’t posted in a while, mostly because there’s been lots to think about and the hubby got back from Japan on Friday (yey!) and we’ve been spending all our time together.

Thursday was our free 10 minute consult with Dr. Braverman. I conferenced in the hubby who was 13 hours ahead in Japan. He had to get up at 2 am his time to be on the call.  I told him it wasn’t necessary,  to get his rest,  I will convey the info to him, etc etc but he insisted he wanted to be on the call and I’m so glad he did because the call got pretty technical at certain points and I found myself not following everything so I’m pretty sure there was no way I was going to be able to explain it all.  Plus there’s the vibe and tenor a person has on a call that you just can’t convey sometimes.  Anyhoo we got on the call,  I told Dr. Braverman briefly about our failures and then went straight to our DQa and HLA testing.  This is the thing I was really concerned about since Dr. Sher had previoiusly told us that we would not be successful with IVF and that our only option was essentially a surrogate. Long story short,  Dr. Braverman basically told me not to even consider this an issue and that he was able to get successful pregnancies for at least 10 couples with DQa match last year. Rather than look at the DQa alone, he looks for enough disparities in HLA genes between partners so that enough protective bodies are created.  Apparently the more differences there are, the more protective bodies. He said we had just enough disparities so it should not be an issue. So why were all our IVF cycles failing? He told us the reason our IVFs had failed was likely immunological in nature due to my endometriosis. So his course of treatment would consist of a laparoscopy to remove the endometriosis, additional Reprosource testing, and likely some type of immune protocol with IVF.

The call was obviously interesting. It was good to hear the DQa match did not mean we couldn’t be successful, but it concerns me that I would need yet another surgery. I’ve already had two laparascopies and a hysteroscopy. I am over being knocked out and weeks of recovery. But ok, I could handle it if I had to. But what bugs me more is that this was all recommended based on a conversation, without looking at any medical records or even an ultrasound. If this was 2 years ago when we first started, I might not think anything of it, but after 2 years at this, I’ve learned to be extremely skeptical. He basically suggested we do the Reprosource testing and while we wait for the results (they take a few weeks, then he needs a couple of weeks to analyze) I should do the laparascopy and give myself time to heal.

To be honest, we were kind of shocked. I didn’t think two experts in this field could disagree to this degree. On the one hand, we were happy we still had a chance to try on our own, on the other hand, this emotional roller coaster is exhausting. After the “hit” from the Sher consult I started thinking about a life without kids, about not thinking about IVFs and monitoring and taking yet more drugs and in my head it started to become a possibility. I know I still want kids but I hate this process. I am just tired of being given false hope. I’m tired of getting my hopes up and getting negative betas. We have not gotten pregnant even once. Anyway since it was so late for the hubby, we talked briefly but decided to talk about all this when he got home on Friday.

Ok, going to publish this and update in another post.

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One thought on “Glimmer of hope

  1. Hi there. I found your blog while googling fertility treatments. I read your post and wanted to reach out. I’m going through a similar journey. I had two failed transfers then switched Drs and got pregnant with Dr Braverman.

    Feel free to email me if you have questions. I’ve had 5 retrievals and 5 transfers – 3 pregnancies and one live birth. So I’ve been through it all!

    Like

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