Taking a breath

So my attempts at making an appointment at NYU were not as easy as I thought.  I called twice in the middle of work on two different days, only to be put on hold for what seemed like ages.  Like the annoying type of hold where there’s no hold music and you wonder if you’ve been disconnected, and you’re like, “hello?…  hello?”  so i hung up.  Called back again the other day and woot! finally got through to an operator who took down my message for Dr. Fino.

Operator: Are you a patient of Dr. Fino?

Me: Yep! already been through it.  Let her know I’d like to do an FET.

Operator: An FET?

Me: Please take down this exact message.  Want to do an unmedicated FET.  One embryo left.  Last chance.

Operator: Ok, well my best wishes to you.

Got back a message from Dr. Fino’s assistant that they set up a phone appointment for November 9th which is awesome!  I so love that this office, and particularly Dr. Fino, does phone call appointments without issue.  In fact, everyone I’ve met at NYU Fertility has been pretty great (except for the fact that you are literally spread eagle during your transfer while people (all drs?) are coming and going, but then again modesty has pretty much gone out the window at this point).  Dr. Fino was the first fertility doc we went to, like a month after we got married in 2013, on the recommendation of a friend who got pg on her first IVF try.  Dr. Fino was the one who told me my right fallopian tube had to go (it was a hydrosalpinx- great news at your first fertility u/s lol).  We ended up not going with her for treatment (we thought she wasn’t attentive enough) but quite frankly, based on our subsequent experiences, she’s actually much more attentive than most.  She’s actually called to check in here and there and she’s very knowledgeable.  One thing we’ve learned through this is that no matter how much you pay or what you do, no one is going to hold your hand through this and you have to be your own advocate.  So we have pretty much come full circle and are going back to her for what may very well be our final transfer.  One of the reasons we decided to go back to NYU was that our cycle there will be covered by insurance less the deductible.  Throughout treatment we’ve had some things that were covered and some that weren’t.  I think we’ve been better off than most in that at least some of our meds were covered and some procedures were covered but we are still out tens of thousands of dollars.  People get annoyed if I talk about the financial cost of infertility. I guess the thought is you shouldn’t spare any expense for your child.  But the thing is, no matter how much we pay or what we do, we may never have a child.  And I totally resent that we have to spend all this money when other people just have intercourse and get pregnant.  Is that bad? I feel like a shit saying that when we pay all this money for random crap, vacations, have spent tons of money on a home renovation.  But it’s just the way I feel.  Of course, if any of this actually worked, I’d have gladly given double and triple, but the thing is, we haven’t even had a little spark of a pregnancy.  My uterus is apparently an inhospitable bitch to our lovely little embryos.  But I will have faith that this last embryo is waiting for us, and it’s going to hold on tight.

In other news, I have bronchitis and I’m finding it hard to breathe.  This hasn’t happened to me before and I know it’s this demented nyc weather where it’s 75 degrees in november.  We went from putting on the a/c to putting on the heat to back to a/c and now i don’t dare even open a window because i don’t want any draft to make me sicker.  Last night we were looking at some lighting options with the hubby on my laptop and I guess I was trying to take deep breaths- it feels like you can’t quite fill your lungs.  And he’s like, “oh honey” and gave me a face.  And I was like “what?!”  And he goes, “your breath.”  I’m like, “omg what’s wrong with my breath?”  He said, “no, i meant your breathing.”  haha!  My dr. prescribed antibiotics and steroids. I balked at the steroid prescription and told him I’m not taking those, but when he told me the bronchitis could turn to asthma, i decided to buck up and take the prednisone.  It’s at 10mg for 10 days so i’m hoping it won’t really have any side effects.  The last thing I need is more weight gain.  Speaking of which, I’ve lost two pounds!  Hubby and I started dieting this week- he is pretty slim but has put on a few pounds that he’d like to get rid of.  It’s so much better when the two of us are dieting together.  We are using the Lose It! app which is excellent for calorie counting, but I am also counting points with Weight Watchers and I actually find WW better.  Lose It! is great if you want slow weight loss or you drop pounds easily like the hubby, but I need something stricter. For example, after last night’s dinner, I was done with my WW points, but Lose It! said I was still like 500 calories under.  Uh no.  At that rate I will never hit my goal.  So I’m doing the Lose It! app with hubby because it’s sort of social and really convenient- ie, it let’s you “share” recipes with other users that you’ve “friended.”  I put last night’s turkey meatball dinner recipe in the app and i could “share” it with the hubs so he could put in his # of servings and it told him his exact calorie count.  Easy peasy.  Tomorrow my uncle is hosting a dinner for his bday so I’ll have to be careful to stay on track.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

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4 thoughts on “Taking a breath

  1. I’m so glad your FET looks to be moving forward! And I hear you about the financial implications and frustrations. Alternative ways of building families are just so darn expensive.
    Also, wishing you a speedy recovery from your Bronchitis.

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    • aww, thank you. we are excited about another transfer and at the same time scared about what it may mean if it’s not successful. and yes, no one quite gets the expense involved, and i know you’re in the thick of it too with the adoption expenses. but if it means a baby and a growing family, it’s all worth it.

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